Monday, February 21, 2005

You Know You're 100% Texan When...

You 100% texan when............1. It doesn't bother you to use an airport named for a man who died in an airplane crash.2. You use the phrase "fixin' to" almost daily.3. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.4. You've ever been excused from school because "the cows got out."5. You can properly pronounce the town Mexia and Mesquite.6. You can remember the name of the last state legislator to introduce a bill involving castration and he didn't mean farm animals.7. You know exactly what calf fries are, and eat them anyway.8. You can recall hot summers by the year they happened easier than you can remember your mother's birthday.9. You think that people who complain about the wind in their states are sissies.10. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door but by the availability of shade.11. You have owned at least one belt buckle bigger than your fist.12. A bad traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other one go first.13. When you hear a tornado siren, you go out and look for a funnel.14. Your "place at the lake" has wheels under it.15. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.16. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F350 4x4 is.17 . You know that everything goes better with Ranch.18 . You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.19. You know that "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.20 . You are 100% Texan if you have ever had this conversation:"You wanna Coke?""Yeah.""What kind?""Dr. Pepper."

9 Comments:

Blogger Olga Flower said...

Hey, Dan!!
I don’t know if this article is your own thought out expression, or you just copied it from somewhere, but the fact is those words describe Texan in such an exact way!!
Personally I mostly like phrase about Ford F350 Is the symbol! Cute!!
Best,
Olga.

February 22, 2005 at 2:07 AM  
Blogger beng said...

hey dan.. thanks for that piece of great advice.. i do appreciate it! it's always good to receive some advice from someone experienced! i was on the line when i saw your comments.. i was like "wow so nice of you" :)

kelvin

February 22, 2005 at 4:21 AM  
Blogger le penseur said...

A good deal of my family lives in Texas *shudders*. Texas frightens me. My grandmother's neighbors fire their guns at New Years, and have roosters in their yard. Well, maybe Fort Worth is just a messed up place. I don't know. Funny stuff, Dan. Keep it up---Benjamin

February 22, 2005 at 6:03 PM  
Blogger Me said...

Hey Dan,
What you said about Texas is so funny, and definately true. I was born in Texas but grew up in CT. My family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, and all them) are still in the midwest. Even though I live in the east (where Mercedes are the status), I still think the F350, or a Ram, is so much cooler than a Benz! I guess Texas never leaves a girl, haha!
Good job,
Sara

February 22, 2005 at 6:57 PM  
Blogger terracegallery said...

Hi Dan,

Your blog cracked me up. What I cant figure out is how to blog each day on the same one with the daily division lines between them. Do I have to start a new blog each time? When I do that it doesnt show up on the same page. You dont have to answer if you dont have time. Something tells me you do though. ;)

Here is a neat painting I just finished. Since you like retro, this might appeal to you:

www.terracegallery.com/winsome10.jpg

Sharon

February 24, 2005 at 10:25 AM  
Blogger marybishop said...

You made me laugh Dan...a good thing. Especially your last line, I have actually heard this said...:"You wanna Coke?""Yeah.""What kind?""Dr. Pepper." hahahahahahah

February 24, 2005 at 11:21 AM  
Blogger Steve said...

Sara,

I was born in Texas but grew up in CT.You did a reverse Dubya - he was born in Connecticut but raised in Midland.

My home town. I was born and raised in Midland, but refugeed to Arizona on the day Bobby Kennedy was shot, when I was twelve. But about half of those "You know you're..." declarations still apply. Plus, except for the fact that I can pronounce "nuclear", I still sound like Dubya.

Here in Scottsdale, you ain't a man unless you drive a black Hummer H2 and your trophy wife drives a pearl Escalade. Me, I drive a Prius. Helluva state of affairs when the son and grandson of oilmen ends up driving a battery-powered rice-burner.

Sweet dreams to all y'all. I'm goin' to bed.

February 26, 2005 at 10:22 PM  
Blogger bryan said...

You're hilarious.

And thanks for your comments on my blog. It's nice to know that others can empathize.

I'll check back as often as I can to see what you're up to.

March 2, 2005 at 9:34 PM  
Blogger letti said...

Ahh..i have a lot yet to learn about Texas but from your list, here are the things I know/do/have:

1. I have no problem using ANY airport
2. I planned my wedding around school holidays and when my parents could get here from Malaysia
3. I can pronounce Mesquite
4. I have NO idea what calf fries are, but NOW i know what pork rinds are and eek, they're disgusting
5. The value of a parking space is just how much space they have for our Ford 350 ( with dualies ) LOL
6. We DO have an RV that we enjoy going all around the US with
7. I've discovered 3 cheeses dressing is tastier than Ranch ( Malaysians hardly use dressing, so it was quite an adventure tasting everything and deciding that Blue Cheese tastes like something from a camel's armpit )
8. Dr. Pepper tastes like cough medicine and I stay far far away from it..YUCK!

March 14, 2005 at 7:50 AM  

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